Friday, April 5, 2013

You're It

It's always nice when a contest as old as ours gets an infusion of new blood. Competing for only the second time in pool history, the Tag Team entitled Members of DBR (240.8) has come out on top, beating out a brand new group, the Ant Farm (234.75) by more than five points. The decline of Whiteside continues, as Whiteside and his Enemies (225.0) barely edged the Ripley Believe-it-or-Nots (224.5) and the Friends of Natalini (223.0). Of course while embracing the new, we'd hate to give up the old, so we take some small comfort in knowing that the Leach Gang (213.75) has once again floundered in second-to-last place. The D'Zuro Group (215.2) spared themselves the ignominy of finishing below the Leaches, something we can't say about the Urban Engineers (193.11).

They could've chosen any school, but they chose Temple. And apparently a lot of other winners, because fans of Temple (245.0) were the best in this year's contest. Maryland (237.0) was at least better than Duke (221.33) at something. Among non-Temple Pennsylvania schools, Penn State (214.88) beat out both the University of Pennsylvania (210.5) and Villanova (205.33).

Females (223.93) came out on top of males (220.12), where pretty much everyone wants them to be. Children (240.86) thumbed their noses at their elders. Among the various species, Lawyers (221.33) couldn't beat out Humans (222.08), but at least they were better than Dogs (205.0). Angels (177.0) need to wheedle some more inside information out of their boss. Our average pool participant scored 220.79, not nearly as well as our average commissioner (234.5). Non-paying participants (214.43) once again showed they didn't pay for a reason (those who paid averaged 221.84).

Students (235.85) always think they know better than teachers (222.25), but this year they really do. Those in sales (230.0) out-thought those in IT (223.75). The unemployed (223.25) clearly have more time on their hands than those with gainful employment (214.88), but we don't know how to explain retired people (213.0). Number crunchers in the accounting world (215.8) probably aspire to be someone with a fancier financial-related title (219.5). Attorneys (212.25) can take solace in that at least they're smarter than engineers (206.17). Self-styled "provocateurs" (233.0) are just a bit cleverer than those fancying themselves a "genius (on sabbatical)" (229.0).

This year the prime place from which to pick pools was the Deep South (239.63). People in New York City (232.4) tend to have a superiority complex but at least this year they more or less backed it up. The West (232.0) bested the Midwest (226.0). Philadelphia suburbs (222.8) beat out Philadelphia urbs (213.8). Those who live in extended DelMarVa (213.8) and Western PA (209.8) should probably move.

Breaking it down further, this year's top state of mind was Tennessee (237.5). New Yorkers (232.43) got the news three hours earlier than Californians (229.0). Floridians (227.0) warmed up faster than Pennsylvanians (217.63), Virginians (216.50), or Marylanders (213.50). New Jerseyites (208.33) should find a new exit on the turnpike.

In the name game, if you want to choose wisely you should change your name to Jeff (234.0), or maybe Mike (224.5) or David (224.5). We wouldn't recommend John (213.75) or Bob (210.0).

The Final Four starts in just over 24 hours. Enjoy the games.

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