Thursday, April 9, 2015

Take Five

It's over. This commissioner has returned from Indianapolis, Duke has won the championship, and Coach K has won his fifth title, putting him ahead of everyone except the legendary Coach Wooden.

But obviously more importantly, the Pre-NCAA Contest can now crown its winner. And the winner is Tester, with 360 points. Second place goes to Baumgarten (354), third goes to Mahalko (350), and in fourth place was Karlsruher (346).

Mr. Tester, we salute you, but that's all we're going to do, because Tester chose to be frugal and prudent (and lots of other boring adjectives) and not to pay for his entry.

Those sounds you're hearing are the cheers of Baumgarten (now getting first prize), Mahalko (second prize), and Karlsruher (third prize), who must really appreciate Tester's dedication to the pure fun of competition. Special kudos to Baumgarten for winning first prize for the second straight year.

Tester becomes the third non-paying contest champion, after Biebel in 2004 and Crotty in 2010. Duke's win also ensured the Brady's now-20 year old record for most points in the contest (379) will continue for at least another year.

Final standings may be found here, or by using the link on the right hand side of the page.

Have a great off-season. Commissioners out.

Saturday, April 4, 2015


Live from Indianapolis...

Game one:
Game two:

With previously undefeated Kentucky going down, that means our contestants' consensus champion has actually won the tournament six times in 26 years, a rousing 23.1%.

We're very much looking forward to Monday night.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Rarified Rivals

After C Whiteside lost to Booth last season for the first time ever, he pondered whether life was worth living, or at least whether he ought to still play in the contest, and isn't that more or less the same thing? For her part, Booth couldn't help wondering whether the feel-good story of 2014 was a mere fluke, a tiny blip on the radar screen of life.

Predictably, they were both wrong.

While Booth failed in her attempt to serve a second straight whupping on her brother-in-law, she only finished four points behind C Whiteside, 295 to 291. Counting last year's win and her one point loss to her nemesis in 2013, it would appear Booth is a force for C Whiteside to reckon with. She even managed to tie mutual Whiteside enemy, Butscher, 291 to 291. Both Booth and C Whiteside trounced Whiteside's trash-talking twins, B Whiteside (270) and J Whiteside (259). And as can be seen in the above scores, the internecine squabble between the twins ended with B Whiteside as the victor.

Recently minted octogenarian E Leach (293) fell before his own son, P Leach (326), but managed to tame the rest of the Leach Gang fairly handily. Madison Leach (258) punished her sister Samantha Leach (235) but both siblings had a thing or two to teach the family dog, L Leach (225). Former contest darling, Mash Leach (259) smacked all three of them around.

B Peloso (286) suffered defeat at the hands of his Duke-loving wife, M Peloso (291), but perhaps more importantly vanquished arch-nemesis K Sullivan (275). Perhaps taking just a bit of the sting out of that ignominious defeat, K Sullivan did manage to handle both her husband, D'Zuro (248), and her deceased mother-in-law, Haklar (270).

Before the tournament, Karlsruher (346) expressed a profound desire to extend his 7-year stretch of dominance over Millan (268), and his wish was granted. Also kicking Millan while he flopped around on the floor were fellow rivals, Brenner (336) and Feinblatt (324), although Millan did manage to beat both T Joseph (265) and T Joseph 2 (254).

Similarly, K Ripley (220) pleaded with the Fates to allow her victory over her husband, P Ripley (312), and father, R Wanger (276), but unlike Karlsruher, her wish appeared to fall on deaf ears.

Among the Donadios, it was L Donadio (288) who spanked both her brothers, J Donadio, Jr. (278) and N Donadio (259), as well as dear old dad, J Donadio, Sr. (274). Amongst the wreckage of what was formerly "12A," Serri (264) edged Gorenstein (263), while both pounded Sciarabba (245). Within the members of DBR, BlueKevIL (301) won the day, topping Kedsy (276), ACCBballFan (275), Nocilla (269), Tommy (268), and Superdave (246).

M Josephs (316) once again handled his old man, D Josephs (285). T Cristinzio (232) topped A Cristinzio (176). R Schlegel (273) regained control over L Schlegel (271). Da Dye (324) beat Do Dye (281). And Mike Mc (276) bettered Joe Mc (225).

T Josephs beat himself (265 to 254), but Selig (271 to 284) and Harlan (323 to 332) didn't.

At least one commissioner is off to the Final Four. We'll try to post on location.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Tag Team tartar

In this topsy turvy place we call the world, sometimes down is up, east is west, and black is white. Even more dizzying, sometimes lawyers (280.5) score better than humans (275.19) and males (275.23) beat females (270.23). And forget about dogs and cats living together, as the canines (225.0) are skulking away with their tails between their legs, while the felines (no entries) have apparently boycotted the contest altogether.

The Millan-os proved to be one tough cookie when it came to picking pools this season, as the six entry group (perhaps also known as the "7th Floor Crew") shaked and baked its way to this season's top Tag Team mark, averaging 298.8 points. Coming in a distant second to the gourmet baked goods was the group formerly known as Whiteside and his Enemies, now dubbed "Whiteside and Haters" by the two youngest Whiteside entrants, with an average of 281.2. Last year's top Tag Team, the Donadio Group, finished third (274.75), barely edging the D'Zuro Consortium (274.0). Among the also-rans, DBR (272.5) once again squeaked ahead of the Ripley Believe-it-or-Nots (269.33). The Urban Engineers (257.5) failed to make a tribute to Alberts, but at least they beat the Remnants of 12A (257.33) by the slimmest of margins. And continuing what seems to be an annual tradition, the Leach Gang finished at the bottom, with an average of 250.56 points.

Among favorite schools (minimum 2 entries to qualify), University of Pennsylvania supporters (327.5) proved that an Ivy education is at least good for something. Due to the Orange probation, Syracuse fans (292.0) had extra time to fill out their entries, and it showed. Among schools that actually made the NCAA tournament, Duke fans (277.1) demonstrated their team is better than they are, beating out Maryland (265.0) and VCU (239.5), but finishing behind Villanova (287.6) and Temple (282.33). Among the remaining qualifying schools, Penn State (270.4) edged Johns Hopkins (268.0), and for DCCC (204.0), well the joke sort of writes itself, doesn't it?

In the tri-state area, Pennsylvania (278.7) showed New Jersey (274.75) and New York (271.4) which real estate is choicest. Residents of warm weather states illustrated the effect of sunshine on the brain, as Florida (262.5), California (259.33), and Virginia (257.75) got tanned at the bottom. Going into more detail on a regional basis, Western PA (315.5) bettered urban Philadelpia (284.0), suburban Philadelphia (276.18), central New Jersey (274.75), and New York City (271.4). The Midwest (301.0) beat out the South (261.2) and the West (259.33). And the region known as DMV (257.5) probably needs a new identity.

Teachers (307.0) showed students (272.33) that they still have a lot to learn. Those in the financial industries (296.43) suggested to those in the IT industry (287.75) that it's more lucrative the cook the books than hack into computer networks. Retired people (279.78) perhaps pointed practicing attorneys (273.0) and engineers (272.25) toward what they should be doing next.

The average commissioner (296.0) topped the average contest entrant (274.82). And our underage-entrants once again exemplified one of the commissioners' favorite old adages, proving that children (265.57) should be seen but not seen gambling.

Top names this year include Jack (302.5), Kevin (292.5), and Matt (282.0). Calling yourself Luke (279.5), Nick (279.3), Jeff (277.0), Mike (275.0), or David (272.6) seems neither to help nor hurt. Then again, anyone named George (269.5), John (267.0), Bob (267.0), and Rick (264.0) might want to consider witness protection.

Tomorrow: Rivals 2015. So stay tuned.