Rivalocity

With all due respect to Florida, Wisconsin, Connecticut, and Kentucky, this Tournament's "One Shining Moment" has already occurred. After a full decade of debasement, humiliation, and suffering her brother-in-law's taunts after ten consecutive ignominious defeats... after losing to him in last year's contest by, and we quote, "ONE F**CKING POINT!!!"... after getting busy at work and not having much time to devote to this year's entry... after hearing her rival's prediction that once again he (and, again, we quote), "Will crush Nancy and the twins! Shabba!!!! Mista Lova Lova!"... well, we're here to report something we never thought possible: Booth (245 points) has beaten Whiteside (225).

Sure, Whiteside picked Florida as his champion and Booth's champ (Arizona) is long gone, so if the Gators win then technically he can pull victory out of defeat's proverbial jaws, but (a) we've always reported the Rivals results in the days before the Final Four; and (b) we've never allowed a mere technicality to get in the way of a good story. So go ahead, Booth, bask in the glory and pour yourself a nice glass of champagne. You've earned it.

Whiteside's nightmare doesn't stop there, though. For what could be worse for a parent than to badmouth your own flesh-and-blood -- and then watch the little punk whup your butt? Yes, C Whiteside (225) did manage to beat out little girl B Whiteside (212), but the other twin, J Whiteside ("I'm 7 minutes older than [my sister] Brenna and will crush her like a bug" -- but unlike his daddy at least the kid backed it up) spanked his old man, 237 to 225. To add the final ignominy to C Whiteside's year, workplace rival McKillip (253) smacked him around as well, and that's final even if Florida wins.

Though they didn't necessarily talk trash at Whiteside levels, children beating up on their parents was somewhat of a theme this season, with S Adams (229) besting father Coach Doc (223); Brenner, Jr. (232) beating Brenner (230); L Schlegel (220) punishing R Schlegel (203); M Josephs (252) putting the hurt on D Josephs (217); Mad Leach (249) pummeling P Leach (230), who in turn edged his own dad, E Leach (227); both K Ripley (219) and M Wanger (211) topping R Wanger (202); and patriarch J Donadio, Jr. (235) losing to not one, not two, but all three of his progeny, N Donadio (245), J Donadio, Jr. (243), and L Donadio (238). In a notable exception to the rule, even languishing in 76th place didn't prevent J McAtee (202) from finishing ahead of son M McAtee (170).

While P Leach (230) handled his dad and also contrived to beat one of his two daughters -- S Leach (183) -- he also managed to get stomped by the family pet (L Leach, 232). In the battle of Leach dogs, Leo Leach (232) also beat Surprise Leach (225).

After a disappointing 2013 when K Ripley (219) lost to pretty much everyone she cares about, she made up for it this year by reestablishing her dominance over not only her father R Wanger (202) but also brother M Wanger (211) and husband P Ripley (217).

We don't know if a tie is like kissing your arch-nemesis, but maybe B Peloso (227) and K Sullivan (227) can tell us. At least B Peloso eked out a win over his Duke-loving wife M Peloso (207), while K Sullivan suffered the shame of failing before her deceased mother-in-law, Haklar (252).

G Wright (225) has meandered around the middle of the standings while still pounding her hubby B Wright (136) by 89 points. A Cristinzio (188) did her one better, hanging out in 86th place while still beating T Cristinzio (155) by 33, though we don't know what relationship the Cristinzios have with each other. Also in the we-don't-have-any-idea-what-their-relationship-is category, Dale Dye (232) defeated Doug Dye (216).

Unlike Whiteside, Millan more or less split with his rivals, coming out ahead of T Joseph (192) and Karlsruher (210) and behind T Joseph 2 (234), Brenner, Jr. (232), and Brenner (230). In the seemingly crowded 12A, Serri (234) emerged as the leader, ahead of Sciarabba (230), Isdaner (226), Gorenstein (204), Selarnick (178), and Moscow (166). Among members of DBR (using DBR handles rather than pool names), Kedsy (247) has emerged victorious over nocilla (225), BlueKevIL (225), ACCBBallFan (223), Ferryfor50 (213), tommy (204), Mike Corey (198), and superdave (184).

We had more Jekyll and Hyde situations than usual this year, and Jekyll won most of them, as Lenok (187) led Lenok 2 (172); Pomerantz (228) pounded Pomerantz 2 (193), and Selig (227) seared Selig 2 (185). The only Hyde hammer was T Joseph 2 (234) topping T Joseph (192).

We hope you enjoyed the contest. Have fun watching the Final Four, and we'll report back next week with a final wrap up.