The Curious Incident of the Rivals in the NCAA-Time

We raise them. We try to teach them right from wrong, to respect their elders. Then the cold truth sets in.

Take for example, venerable patriarch R Wanger, who this year put in a respectable (if slightly below average) effort with 240 points. Did his offspring treat him with the gentle deference he'd earned over the many years, after he brought them into and prepared them for the callous world they live in? Uh, no. Both son M Wanger and daughter K Ripley thrashed the old man, each garnering 251 points. And son-in-law P Ripley did them one better (actually three better), with 254. K Ripley chose Villanova as her champion, so if it's the Wildcats' year then K Ripley will have lived out her annual dream of "beat[ing] my dad and my husband."

The same generational behavior can be found all over. Adams kicked father Coach Doc's behind, 270 to 256. Mike Mc (230) took it to father Joe Mc (228), although Joe Mc also has Nova as champion so it's possible he'll take back his parental due. J Donadio, Sr. (273) currently clings to a lead over L Donadio (262) and J Donadio, Jr. (259), but if UNC wins it all then Jr. will spank the old man. Rubinson tried to buck this trend by choosing his entry jointly with his son, but unfortunately both of them lost (248 points).

Once mighty C Whiteside (233) these days can't even beat out the little girl in his own backyard (B Whiteside (276)). Although the former trash-talking Shabba did manage to beat out son J Whiteside (202) and also avoided a year of ignominy by edging arch-nemesis (and sister-in-law) Booth (228) by a mere five points.

Leach Gang paterfamilias E Leach (243) got a stern talking to from not one but two grandchildren, Mad Leach (255) and Sa Leach (234). Mad Leach (255) also grounded her father, P Leach (238), and if Villanova wins it all, Sa Leach (234, with Nova as champion) will have treated her father just as shabbily. At least P Leach beat out one of the family dogs (L Leach (228)).

But one father kept his #1 spot in the family household, and that was D Josephs (257), who subordinated son (and co-commissioner) M Josephs (226).

We already mentioned K Ripley's chance to beat husband P Ripley. If she succeeds it will be a clean sweep for the wives in the married couple department, joining Da Dye (226) -- who beat Do Dye (215) by 11 points -- and M Peloso (285), who skunked husband B Peloso (233) by more than 50.

But back to children. As the adage goes, they say the darnedest things. But sometimes they back it up. B Whiteside, for example, boldly bragged she would "destroy twin brother Jack," and she did, 276 to 202. J Whiteside, on the other hand, conceded that he "may not beat Brenna," but added that "Aunt Nancy has no shot." Sadly for J Whiteside (202), his Aunt, Booth (228) not only had a shot, she put the tyke in his place by more than 25 points. In Leachworld, Mad Leach (255) and Sa Leach (234) each proclaimed they would "have the best kid pool," but unless Oklahoma wins, neither will. If the Sooners take the natty, however, Mad Leach (255 with Okla as champ) will in fact beat out B Whiteside (276) for the minor pool championship. Mad Leach (255, with Okla as champ) also flatly stated she would "beat [her] sister," and she'll be right about that unless UNC wins it all, in which case Sa Leach's (234, with UNC as champ) identical assertion will turn out to be accurate.

Overall, the kid standings are in a state of flux. Four of the seven putative minors in this contest have active national champions (57%), almost triple the percentage of adults who still have a chance at getting champion points (23%). Right now, B Whiteside leads the small pack with 276 points, followed by L Donadio (262), J Donadio, Jr. (259 with UNC as champ), L Schlegel (258, with Villanova as champ), Mad Leach (255, with Oklahoma as champ), Sa Leach (234, with UNC as champ), and J Whiteside (202). If Villanova wins, the kid champion will be L Schlegel. If UNC wins, it'll be J Donadio, Jr.. And if Oklahoma wins, the minor crown goes to Mad Leach.

Among the present and/or former inhabitants of 12A, Serri (285) proved best, beating out Gorenstein (276) and Sciarabba (229). Among the Millan-aires, Karlsruher (268) looks to be on top, but T Joseph (247, with UNC as champ) still has a shot at bragging rights if UNC wins it all. Brenner (237), not so much. And Millan himself didn't even enter the contest. Best among the DBR crew will either be Biebel 2 (273) or, if Villanova wins it, ACCBballFan (261, with Villanova as champ). Looking up at their fellow DBR aficionados are Nocilla (262), Biebel 1 (258), Tommy (248), and Kedsy (206). Biebel had the distinction of beating himself, 273 to 258.

In the Leach Gang, the trash talk wasn't restricted to the children. L Leach (228) barked that he'd have "the best dog pool there is," but couldn't even beat out a mystery canine from his own family (Su Leach (282)). Octogenarian E Leach also chirped a bit, predicting he'd be "leading the over 80 club," but we can neither confirm nor deny his claim, as that information just isn't available. P Leach vowed to win the contest before he turned 50, and all we can say to that is wait 'till next year.